Why are women so bad at parallel parking? Because men keep telling them
that this:
|——————-|
is 8 inches.
Kay:
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
And now you know a ‘smart blonde’ joke.
Aaron:
How much does a polar bear weigh?
Enough to break the ice, I’m ______
Alix:
What did the ice do when the fat lady fell?
It cracked up!
Tim:
Why’d Popeye beat the crap out of the Pope?
He heard he was going to Mt Olive.
Alex:
Descartes walked into a bar and the bartender asks him if he wants a beer. Descartes replies “I think not” and POOF! he vanishes.
winston:
Todays thought question
Rachel:
I agree with winston
Jeff:
Why do elephants have big ears?
Noddy won’t pay the ransom.
the journey.:
what do you call a fish without an eye? a fsh. also, my brother told me this one when he was like 4 or 5: what is red and goes up and down? a tomato in an elevator.
Swish:
A Masochist and a Sadist are stuck on an island, the Masochist says “Come on, hit me!”, and the Sadist says “Nope.”
And,
Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar…and doesn’t.
A.A.Alamin:
who sits on babies?
baby sitter .. well I love it cuz I received it when I was in a bad mood and it made me rofl!
Javier:
Drunk people jokes… i guess..
.:
Why did Suzie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms
Conor:
Did I ever tell you the last thing my Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket?
“Look how far I can kick this bucket!”
Rebecca:
What did the fish say when it swam into a dam?
Damn.
Alicia:
If the terms pro- and con- are opposites, and progress means moving forward, what does Congress mean?
🙂
again:
There were 2 muffins sitting in an oven the first says, “Man, it’s hot in here!” The second one says, “OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!?!”
P.J.:
Two guys walk into a bar. You’d think the second one would’ve ducked.
Why are women so bad at parallel parking? Because men keep telling them
that this:
|——————-|
is 8 inches.
A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow
$5,000.
The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.
The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank’s underground garage and parks it there.
Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, “Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?”
The blonde replies, “Where else in New York City can I park my car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?”
And now you know a ‘smart blonde’ joke.
How much does a polar bear weigh?
Enough to break the ice, I’m ______
What did the ice do when the fat lady fell?
It cracked up!
Why’d Popeye beat the crap out of the Pope?
He heard he was going to Mt Olive.
Descartes walked into a bar and the bartender asks him if he wants a beer. Descartes replies “I think not” and POOF! he vanishes.
Todays thought question
I agree with winston
Why do elephants have big ears?
Noddy won’t pay the ransom.
what do you call a fish without an eye? a fsh. also, my brother told me this one when he was like 4 or 5: what is red and goes up and down? a tomato in an elevator.
A Masochist and a Sadist are stuck on an island, the Masochist says “Come on, hit me!”, and the Sadist says “Nope.”
And,
Schrodinger’s cat walks into a bar…and doesn’t.
who sits on babies?
baby sitter .. well I love it cuz I received it when I was in a bad mood and it made me rofl!
Drunk people jokes… i guess..
Why did Suzie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms
Did I ever tell you the last thing my Grandpa said before he kicked the bucket?
“Look how far I can kick this bucket!”
What did the fish say when it swam into a dam?
Damn.
If the terms pro- and con- are opposites, and progress means moving forward, what does Congress mean?
🙂
There were 2 muffins sitting in an oven the first says, “Man, it’s hot in here!” The second one says, “OH MY GOSH A TALKING MUFFIN!?!”
Two guys walk into a bar. You’d think the second one would’ve ducked.
That way they won’t send that you knock on your door asking to the cash that you just haven’t returned yet.
Cash loans online are ready to aid you at any point of your time before payday.