I wouldn’t make so many life altering decisions so rashly. I would take more time to consider the outcomes; both negative and positive.
Neicy:
In theory there are so many things I would love to change but I’m so happy where I am right now. Fixing one of thoes “mistakes” might change where I am right now which I really would not like.
jw:
only try to finish some things more carefully
Blink:
I wouldn’t get back together with my ex for the 3rd time. Everything else, I enjoyed or learnt positively from
Robert L:
If i could relive the past, i wouldnt.
Arent your mistakes and your decisions part of who YOU really are?
Rob:
Can’t think of anything. Been a couple rough spots but that’s how I learn. The good moments have been great.
Heather:
absolutely nothing
Debi:
Get more exercise, stay out of other people’s business, make more time for me, work less, play more, stand up for myself more too.
chris+ine:
I would try to keep my friendships. But they’re all bitches now so whatever. fuck them all.
nick:
It was a tuff year for me emotionally. I would have let people out of my life when they asked and took time to appreciate myself.
Wesley:
Nothing, it had it’s ups and downs, but everything turned out well 🙂
pnog:
Go to the beach in summer. Get more general exercise.
Shannon:
Tell people I love them more.
Courtney:
Finishing everything I started
Evelyn:
Showing my affection more.
Jen:
I wouldn’t have played with his emotions…
Emyl:
if i would relive the past, i would like to stay with my family and to not chose work over them. i will spent more time with them.
Mike G:
Go to the dermatologist in February instead of August. Things could have been so much better…
Lulú:
Well, I wouldn’t have open myself to my now ex-lover/whatever… wouldn’t have spent so much time with him and other not so good people.
sasha:
-wouldn’t have been such a bitch to my mom, even here lately. i take for granted how much she loves me and how much she does for me. i’m good at pushing people away and out of my life but she’ll always be there for me.hopefully. she doesn’t deserve me being a bitch to her.
Lazlo:
Eat less fast food, exercise more, watch fewer movies, spend more time writing.
Daniela:
made a greater effort keeping my past relationship… it would have maybe turned better…who knows…
Kelly K:
There’s not a thing I would do differently. If I would have done anything differently, I wouldn’t have met the love of my life in August. Everything happens for a reason, every choice we make slowly guides us toward the destination we’re meant for.
Tina:
I would have cut ties with a friend I suspected to be a malignant narcissist much sooner than I did. It was only when I caught him in a lie that he had been spinning for months, that I got my wake up call. I should have trusted my instincts.
I would be lying if I say that I would not change anything in the past year should I be given a chance to relive it. 2011 has been an emotional roller-coaster for me. It presented me challenges and experiences that broke my heart into tiny pieces, crushed my spirit in many ways I could not imagine and exposed me to the different levels of pain.
Hence, if I can relive it, I would have loved myself more. See, I have always been an advocate of self-love and have cheered people on this. I cheer people up when they are down, motivated them to feel better about themselves so that they can perform to their potential. I would always find a way to make them look at the brighter side of a situation and help them find their way out when they are swimming in frustration and despair.
This is something that I failed to do for myself.
What happened? I fell deeply in love with my mindbanger (A Mindbanger is the one significant other who gets into your head and takes over your mind in a way that all you care about is becoming like them and sustaining a clearly dysfunctional relationship. All you want to do is become whoever you think your boyfriend wants you to be, while losing yourself in the process. A person who is mindbanged becomes completely disconnected with their family, friends, and previous lifestyle in pursuit of a pointless relationship). For the 2 years that we were together, he cheated on me for 13 months (and more). And because I was so in love with him, I forgave him for this and was willing to give up everything for him – my job, my friends, my life. I distanced myself from those who do not approve of my relationship with him (including my family) and have built my world around him thinking that this will prevent him from cheating again. Furthermore, I allowed myself to trust the lies he has repeatedly told me.
After much frustration, pain and helplessness, I found myself drowning in despair with nobody to save me. I even entertained the thoughts of harming myself because I was losing hope that my relationship with him would improve unless something drastic would happen. Imagine, I gave everything I can, risked everything I have and yet nothing was appreciated. I took care of him when he was sick and I am not that kind of person, left work early to cook him dinner even though I don’t really know how to cook, massaged his feet when it hurt even though I to am tired from work, and loved him with all my heart even after his betrayal. But when I asked him to tell me one thing that I did good for him, he couldn’t say any. He would always give a general answer. Instead of receiving love in return, I got more lies, cheating and pain. I even had nightmares for weeks – it was that bad! And since I was mindbanged, I did not believe my friends when they told me that I can leave this kind of relationship. It was more like, I did not love myself enough to leave the relationship. I knew what I had to do, but I stayed. I told myself that I can help him change and kept on believing that God would eventually intervene and make a miracle in him. I kept praying and even lied to myself that he will eventually love me the way I should be loved and valued.
The ending? God intervened alright, but He had better things in mind. God wanted me to learn to put limits and to balance my love for my significant other with my self-love. My mindbanger left me for something very petty (even though we both know that he left for another girl) which gave me the opportunity to pick myself up and start all over. It is very difficult because I didn’t know where to start, and how to do it. I have left everything and everyone that I used to care for in my life for him and I had to slowly repair myself to be able to fix my relationship with them.
Had I respected myself more, I would have known when to stop, and tell myself that I have to leave it all to God. Had I valued myself, I would not have allowed him to treat me like an unimportant object and take advantage of my weakness – my love for him. If I have loved myself, I would not have to go through all those painful things just to prove to him that I love him.
This experience still keeps me up at night and brings me to tears. I am not fully healed from it and I know it takes time for that to happen. I am slowly forgiving myself and learning to love the new me – a woman with deep self-confidence wounds and deeper love scars. I believe nobody deserves to be treated in such way but it had to happen to me. It is very unfortunate nevertheless, it taught me 2 important things:
1. I have a great capacity to love. When I love someone, I love them unconditionally. I am capable of going through great lengths just to show the person how much I love him. A friend told me that not all are capable of loving the way I can and that I have been blessed with such a huge heart that loves beyond mistakes and can withstand so much pain. But I have to use my heart wisely because not everyone will appreciate it and some will even take advantage of it. I was told that those with a capacity to love far less than what I can offer will see this kind of love as weakness and stupidity mainly because they cannot do the same things that I can.
2. No matter what happens, love yourself. The way you love yourself and treat yourself will be mirrored by your partner. If you won’t love yourself who else, aside from God, will?
Rayton:
Nothing. I am today what the past shaped me into, and because the last year was difficult, emotionally, socially and in any other area, I believes it has shaped me the most of my recent years.
Isabella:
There’s a lot of things i would have changed about the past year but i can’t and so there’s no use living in the past. Never have regrets because at one point it was exactly what you wanted
Danielle:
Do things worth remembering because I can’t remember much. Spend more time with friends. Just try harder in general.
Lauren:
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but nothing…. Hellish year, but turns out, there really is sweetness found in suffering.
I wouldn’t make so many life altering decisions so rashly. I would take more time to consider the outcomes; both negative and positive.
In theory there are so many things I would love to change but I’m so happy where I am right now. Fixing one of thoes “mistakes” might change where I am right now which I really would not like.
only try to finish some things more carefully
I wouldn’t get back together with my ex for the 3rd time. Everything else, I enjoyed or learnt positively from
If i could relive the past, i wouldnt.
Arent your mistakes and your decisions part of who YOU really are?
Can’t think of anything. Been a couple rough spots but that’s how I learn. The good moments have been great.
absolutely nothing
Get more exercise, stay out of other people’s business, make more time for me, work less, play more, stand up for myself more too.
I would try to keep my friendships. But they’re all bitches now so whatever. fuck them all.
It was a tuff year for me emotionally. I would have let people out of my life when they asked and took time to appreciate myself.
Nothing, it had it’s ups and downs, but everything turned out well 🙂
Go to the beach in summer. Get more general exercise.
Tell people I love them more.
Finishing everything I started
Showing my affection more.
I wouldn’t have played with his emotions…
if i would relive the past, i would like to stay with my family and to not chose work over them. i will spent more time with them.
Go to the dermatologist in February instead of August. Things could have been so much better…
Well, I wouldn’t have open myself to my now ex-lover/whatever… wouldn’t have spent so much time with him and other not so good people.
-wouldn’t have been such a bitch to my mom, even here lately. i take for granted how much she loves me and how much she does for me. i’m good at pushing people away and out of my life but she’ll always be there for me.hopefully. she doesn’t deserve me being a bitch to her.
Eat less fast food, exercise more, watch fewer movies, spend more time writing.
made a greater effort keeping my past relationship… it would have maybe turned better…who knows…
There’s not a thing I would do differently. If I would have done anything differently, I wouldn’t have met the love of my life in August. Everything happens for a reason, every choice we make slowly guides us toward the destination we’re meant for.
I would have cut ties with a friend I suspected to be a malignant narcissist much sooner than I did. It was only when I caught him in a lie that he had been spinning for months, that I got my wake up call. I should have trusted my instincts.
I would be lying if I say that I would not change anything in the past year should I be given a chance to relive it. 2011 has been an emotional roller-coaster for me. It presented me challenges and experiences that broke my heart into tiny pieces, crushed my spirit in many ways I could not imagine and exposed me to the different levels of pain.
Hence, if I can relive it, I would have loved myself more. See, I have always been an advocate of self-love and have cheered people on this. I cheer people up when they are down, motivated them to feel better about themselves so that they can perform to their potential. I would always find a way to make them look at the brighter side of a situation and help them find their way out when they are swimming in frustration and despair.
This is something that I failed to do for myself.
What happened? I fell deeply in love with my mindbanger (A Mindbanger is the one significant other who gets into your head and takes over your mind in a way that all you care about is becoming like them and sustaining a clearly dysfunctional relationship. All you want to do is become whoever you think your boyfriend wants you to be, while losing yourself in the process. A person who is mindbanged becomes completely disconnected with their family, friends, and previous lifestyle in pursuit of a pointless relationship). For the 2 years that we were together, he cheated on me for 13 months (and more). And because I was so in love with him, I forgave him for this and was willing to give up everything for him – my job, my friends, my life. I distanced myself from those who do not approve of my relationship with him (including my family) and have built my world around him thinking that this will prevent him from cheating again. Furthermore, I allowed myself to trust the lies he has repeatedly told me.
After much frustration, pain and helplessness, I found myself drowning in despair with nobody to save me. I even entertained the thoughts of harming myself because I was losing hope that my relationship with him would improve unless something drastic would happen. Imagine, I gave everything I can, risked everything I have and yet nothing was appreciated. I took care of him when he was sick and I am not that kind of person, left work early to cook him dinner even though I don’t really know how to cook, massaged his feet when it hurt even though I to am tired from work, and loved him with all my heart even after his betrayal. But when I asked him to tell me one thing that I did good for him, he couldn’t say any. He would always give a general answer. Instead of receiving love in return, I got more lies, cheating and pain. I even had nightmares for weeks – it was that bad! And since I was mindbanged, I did not believe my friends when they told me that I can leave this kind of relationship. It was more like, I did not love myself enough to leave the relationship. I knew what I had to do, but I stayed. I told myself that I can help him change and kept on believing that God would eventually intervene and make a miracle in him. I kept praying and even lied to myself that he will eventually love me the way I should be loved and valued.
The ending? God intervened alright, but He had better things in mind. God wanted me to learn to put limits and to balance my love for my significant other with my self-love. My mindbanger left me for something very petty (even though we both know that he left for another girl) which gave me the opportunity to pick myself up and start all over. It is very difficult because I didn’t know where to start, and how to do it. I have left everything and everyone that I used to care for in my life for him and I had to slowly repair myself to be able to fix my relationship with them.
Had I respected myself more, I would have known when to stop, and tell myself that I have to leave it all to God. Had I valued myself, I would not have allowed him to treat me like an unimportant object and take advantage of my weakness – my love for him. If I have loved myself, I would not have to go through all those painful things just to prove to him that I love him.
This experience still keeps me up at night and brings me to tears. I am not fully healed from it and I know it takes time for that to happen. I am slowly forgiving myself and learning to love the new me – a woman with deep self-confidence wounds and deeper love scars. I believe nobody deserves to be treated in such way but it had to happen to me. It is very unfortunate nevertheless, it taught me 2 important things:
1. I have a great capacity to love. When I love someone, I love them unconditionally. I am capable of going through great lengths just to show the person how much I love him. A friend told me that not all are capable of loving the way I can and that I have been blessed with such a huge heart that loves beyond mistakes and can withstand so much pain. But I have to use my heart wisely because not everyone will appreciate it and some will even take advantage of it. I was told that those with a capacity to love far less than what I can offer will see this kind of love as weakness and stupidity mainly because they cannot do the same things that I can.
2. No matter what happens, love yourself. The way you love yourself and treat yourself will be mirrored by your partner. If you won’t love yourself who else, aside from God, will?
Nothing. I am today what the past shaped me into, and because the last year was difficult, emotionally, socially and in any other area, I believes it has shaped me the most of my recent years.
There’s a lot of things i would have changed about the past year but i can’t and so there’s no use living in the past. Never have regrets because at one point it was exactly what you wanted
Do things worth remembering because I can’t remember much. Spend more time with friends. Just try harder in general.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but nothing…. Hellish year, but turns out, there really is sweetness found in suffering.
I would run away to teach someone a lesson.