Question 134

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20 Responses to “Question 134”

  1. Candice:

    You cannot control what other people do or who they are… this is where you accept the way things are. You are in control of what you do and who you are… if there is a situation or person and you realize that it is the way it is because it is out of your control, you have a choice to accept that or not. If you know in your heart you don’t want to accept it, but you do for lack of desire, energy, and/or confidence to go further, this is settling.

  2. lis:

    settling for something does not mean you are actually happy with whatever is going on, while accepting things the way they are means you’ll look at the bright side

  3. anne:

    settling for things means you’re not brave enough to change them.
    accepting things means you know you can’t change them.

  4. JennyLynn:

    Being happy.

  5. Settling for things to me, means you are willing to accept something without doing anything about it even though it doesn’t make you 100% comfortable or happy, and when this happens it’ll occasionally pop up in your thoughts at the oddest times and you may question why you settled.

    Accepting things as they are means just that, you accept whatever as it is as it is and you move on.

    Accepting is more freeing while settling you may end up carrying around with you.

  6. Gail:

    Acceptance is an acknowledgement of the way things are. It is what we offer to the world in all its manifestations. It is a way of acknowledging we cannot change what is outside our sphere of influence. We can change our selves. We can change the world, but bit by bit. We put out there what we have to offer, and each action we take either disturbs or reflects, perpetuates, or perhaps ameliorates what is already there. Always there is acceptance first, or how do we know where to put our feet and hands? We accept the path before us, we do not fight it.

    Settling for things carries about it an aura of defeat. It comes with an attitude of doing without liking to do.

    Happiness comes from acceptance, even of those aspects of living we are not fond of. When there is too much settling in life, there is unhappiness.

  7. Red:

    I think when we are ‘unable’ make a change thats when we ‘accept things the way they are’, but when we are ‘not doing’ anything to make a change we are settling for things….

  8. JedHakuro:

    You only settle for things if you know you have the ability to change it, but have to come to the conclusion that it is better left as is or its only fair if it is left as is.

    And accepting things the way they are is when you know that there is no possible way for you to change it and trying will only cause harm and ill intent.

  9. Courtney:

    Kudos poster*
    I Love this question& i honestly can’t speak if there is a difference because i mix the both up All the time. This won’t leave my mind, so thank you:) Muchos gracias

  10. Stephanie A Thomas:

    Settling is when you’re unhappy but you just deal with what’s going on because you think that you won’t be able to get anything better. You doubt your own ability and you doubt life in general. Accepting things for what they are is either when you are happy in general but there are certain things you might now like. You accept them because they’re small and to make them something big would make your otherwise happy life unhappy. They are things that you can’t change but it’s alright if you can’t or things that would be silly to change. I think accepting things can also mean you look on the bright side of things until you can get to a point when things change. I think settling for something is giving up and accepting something that is something you could not live happily with forever is being happy with what you have but actively trying to change it too.

  11. Kate:

    Settling for things means you were trying to control the situation and bend it to your own desires, and you discovered it doesn’t work and you gave up.

    Accepting the way things are means you’ve decided to bend yourself to conform with the situation, and you’ll work within the boundaries you’re given.

  12. Alex:

    What about if you stop trying to change the situation because you know that your efforts will hurt someone else, even though the way it is at the moment hurts you? Is that settling or accepting? Is it the right thing to do?

  13. April:

    Settling makes me think of going for crap cuz you think that’s all you can get or you’re too lazy to get better things. I think accepting things is like coming to terms with things you cannot control, such as death.

  14. Amanda:

    Settling for things means you are not emotionally ready to move past your initial expectations, accepting them means you are.

  15. Celeste:


  16. bails:

    settling mean you arent happy with what you have to deal with.
    accepting means you are content with it.

  17. Nick:

    For me,
    settling for things is like letting it go but you still have some kind of hard feelings for it while accepting for what things are is like letting it go and being happy for what they are.

  18. jsavanahs:

    Settling for things, you see; means whether there’s a possibility of changing or if there isn’t, the decision has been made, regardless. – Accepting the way things are, is very different. It means, that no matter what, you have no control over the situation, and there’s nothing you could possibly do, other than accept it.

  19. mistie:

    Settling means you have control over something, but you’re not brave or strong enough to change it (as another said).
    Accepting is acknowledging the fact that you have no control, and being okay with that.

  20. Kristian:

    I’m thinking from a perspective of personal development, and a situation you have some resistance towards. Example: You’re unhappy with your work situation.

    To be able to accept the situation, you have to believe that you’re able chose the way you relate to it. This choice implies that the relation is in your domain of influence. Accepting the situation, thus, is the same as taking ownership of your relation to the situation, and releasing your resistance towards it. In a way; accepting something is chosing what you have.

    Settling for something does not necessarily mean that you have made a conscious choice to stay in the situation. Although at some level you’ve chosen not to do anything about it. You stay in the situation you’re in, because you can’t see any better alternative, and keep the resistance towards it. You may avoid the choice of accepting it, because it seems you don’t have a choice. When you settle for something, you don’t take ownership of it in the same way you do when you’re accepting it. Settling, in the extreme, is taking on the role of the powerless victim.

    Accepting a situation is necessary for releasing the resistance towards it. If you don’t accept the situation you won’t be able to focus positively and constructively. You spend your energy resisting the situation, instead of using it to better the situation, or to escape it.

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