Question 148

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32 Responses to “Question 148”

  1. Kay:

    It is better to have loved and lost because at the end of the day, it may be the most pain you have ever felt but it has also been one of the most joyful times you have experienced. Life will hurt you, it will make your day and then take away your happiness because it is part of the learning/growing process. I would rather have loved him and had a full break down once he left than never have met him and never learned what I know now about myself. Love will make you feel alive and, even if you can only get that feeling for an instant, that feeling is incredible and absolutely irreplaceable.

    “I am nothing special; just a common man with common thoughts, and I’ve led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But in one respect I have succeeded as gloriously as anyone who’s ever lived: I’ve loved another with all my heart and soul; and to me, this has always been enough.” ~ Nicholas Sparks, The Notebook

  2. JedHakuro:

    I felt both sides of this argument. I loved and lost, as well as never have loved at all.

    I can move on from having loved and lost knowing that I tried and it simply failed, but not knowing what could have been ate at me for a long time.

    Also, I fully agree with the comment above. Hits it right on the mark.

  3. Patrick:

    Ah, but what the question fails to recognize is the possibility of having sought love but never found it. That’s worse than having ignored the whole love issue entirely.

  4. Me:

    Its better to have loved and lost. I have recently lost my first love and it has been awful since it ended BUT I would never trade this for anything. I have learned so much about love and life. I couldn’t imagine never experiencing this.

  5. Arnab:

    lovd and lost obviously ….. cause if we never love , how can we judge that were better off not having ever loved ??

  6. C:

    Loved and lost. Definitely

  7. nic:

    Loved and lost. At least you’ll have some memories to embrace.
    Not loving at all makes you wonder “what would have happened…?” and that’s excruciating

  8. Jason:

    Better to have loved and lost.

    I was in an intense four year long distance relationship and thinking about that person every moment of every day. I asked her to marry me 2 hours after we met. I don’t regret a second of it. It may be over now, but the feelings I felt, and the things I did because of our relationship are incredible and irreplaceable. Yes, it hurt more than anything imaginable when things ended, but I wouldn’t change it for the world.

  9. Anne:


  10. Justin:

    Better to love and lost because love is part of life and will help you grow. Even if you lost someone special, they did help you become the person you are today. The love they gave you will never leave. I learned that the hard way.

  11. FutureMD:

    The “ideal” answer seems to love and lose and be ok with the memories.. honestly though, sometimes the pain left after and the degree to which it interferes with life afterwards, make me wonder whether it was worth it.. to be honest though, I wouldn’t’ve traded it for anything

  12. Tiff:

    The only way to know true love is to have lost the false love.

  13. Loved, Lost.

    For me it’s definitely better than latter.

    There’s nothing forever, what matters is the experienced moment 🙂

    Live passionately 😉

  14. Laura:

    Never have loved at all.

    Because then I wouldn’t feel like I do now

  15. lis:

    seriously i don’t know.. having loved is the most beautiful feeling ive had within me, but losing just hurts so much

  16. Will:

    It is not a matter of loving and losing, or having never loved in the first place; rather, it is whether or not the love was returned. You can give all the love you want without an ounce being returned. Loving someone with no mutual feeling is a heartbreaking experience. That feeling leaves you empty, desolate, and sometimes even hopeless.

    You could say that is “never having loved at all.” However, love is two-sided; there are two halves. If you ever get that feeling of emptiness remember that you still have your half, and that someone will come along with a matching piece.

    I once read a quote (the source of which escapes me at the moment) that said something like the following:
    “To love is nothing,
    To be loved is something,
    To love, and to be loved in return, is everything.”

  17. addy:

    At this point in my life I would have to say to have never loved at all. The reason for this is because everyone I’ve ever loved has never loved me back, so it has all been painful. Every single day I am consumed by what could possibly be so wrong with me that no one can love me in return. I want nothing more than to finally have someone feel the same way for me as I do for them. If I had never loved at all, it would have saved me a lot of pain and sadness.

  18. Amanda:

    As an adult, perhaps to have loved. As a teen, never to have loved. I believe it also depends on situation, everyone assumes we’re refering to a romantic relationship, not, for instance, the love of a child, in which case I believe it is better to never have loved.

    “addy” sounds like a friend of mine, but she should know that those who do find someone special are often changed-by that person or by themselves in an effort to be ‘better’. I find that that is NOT worth the satisfaction, and even takes it away.

  19. April:

    Loved and lost. Love is such a beautiful thing that needs to be cherished. I feel like love means caring so deeply for someone that you would do anything for their benefit. Love isn’t selfish. I feel like loving makes you grow in many ways that you couldn’t have otherwise. Even if things turn sour, having that bond with someone is such a beautiful thing. I thrive on love and I think many people do. The world needs more love to be spread around.

  20. Mandie:

    Never to have loved at all. Because then you would never know what you were missing. You wouldn’t even know you were missing anything at all. I think it would be more like being a kid, never knowing what true love is but you don’t even know that love is something potentially great or potentially horrible. I think it is better to never know what it feels like to be in love so that you will never know what it feels like to hurt.

  21. Kelsey:

    Both pretty much suck.

  22. better to not have loved at all.
    I feel that if you didn’t “feel it” then it wouldn’t hurt as much when you knew it was over. It’s so hard so many times I wish I could just have an Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind and forget everything!

  23. shade_of_grey:

    Of course it is. I’d rather have loved my family, my friends and my boyfriend Lindz and then have to lose them because it means I didnt live my life alone. I’d rather love and have the love of all these people and therefore have amazing memories as well as the pain of loss than to never have had a single one of them in my life at all.

  24. Sarah:

    Yes. Pain is real, love is real, without that, are we real?

  25. sab:

    Loved and Lost. If you can feel the way that made you feel good, then you’ll feel that love again.

  26. Gracie-Lou:

    it is better to have loved and lost, and to know that feeling, and be able to remember it and cherish it; than to never know the joys and the pains that go with holding someone so close to your heart.

  27. Nick:

    It’s better to have loved and lost because you have that experience that you’re gonna take when you start a new relationship again. Plus, you will learn more about yourself.

  28. Daniel:

    In this case, it would be better to have experience.

  29. mistie:

    Neither is better. The first feels pain over someone they lost, while the second wishes that they’d be like the first one, when the second doesn’t know what love really is.

  30. Zephyr:

    Loved and lost <3

  31. zoe:

    loved and lost, even though it can be completely devestating, you’ll be thankful for the memories and moments that you can look back on and smile. knowing how amazing it felt and knowing nothing can or will compare to that. some people search their entire lives for that special someone and never find them. when you have loved another you’ve experienced one of the very best things about life. love lets you grow as an individual and learn so much. how amazing it is to have someone that is your world, cares about you and will be there no matter what but when it ends it nearly rips your heart apart.

    but when you’ve never loved, you’ve never experience what life has to offer. never put your trust in someone and had it returned never been deliriously happy.

  32. Sam:

    Loved and lost

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